well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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