Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
