I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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