I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
only if we run a train.
done.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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