How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
