The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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