I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
