so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
