Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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