there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize