Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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