U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
why is half of my head shaved?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
