a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
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Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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