there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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