Ambien. No doubt about it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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