Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
