I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
