I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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