like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
