Where are you?
In a non slutty way
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
