Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
