I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize