I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize