U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
