He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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