things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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