Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
