are you still at the devil's house?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
