Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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