Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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