You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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