DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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