he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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