fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
