I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize