she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
