We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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