CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
