im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
