I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
