It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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