Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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