so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
