he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
