I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize