We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize