he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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