when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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