what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
