a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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