Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore