I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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