Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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