maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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