He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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