Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
