my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This is my gift to your gina
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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