She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
