But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She is in my trunk
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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