I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
