Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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