I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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